A few weeks ago, I wrote about procrastination, the all-too-familiar habit of putting things off until tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, next week… What I didn’t expect was how many people told me they felt relief after reading it. They said it eased their feelings of guilt. This prompted me to reflect: guilt is often the emotion accompanying procrastination, as if delaying tasks is a personal failing rather than a common human struggle.
It also reminded me of a conversation I had a few years ago with a coach at Uppsala University. She mentioned that her main role when coaching researchers was to help them navigate their guilt, guilt over missed deadlines, guilt over not spending enough time with loved ones, guilt over not prioritising physical activity.
Giving names to our emotions is often the first step toward understanding them.
Why do we even feel guilt in the first place? From an evolutionary standpoint, human survival relied heavily on cooperation, sharing resources, looking out for one another, and fulfilling obligations. In our modern world, that might translate to submitting a project on time, attending meetings promptly, or doing our fair share in a team. When we break trust, even in small ways like arriving late or postponing tasks, guilt acts like a psychological alarm reminding us: “Hey, you messed up; let’s fix this!”
In a team environment, this mechanism can be beneficial. It motivates us to apologise, make amends, and do better next time. If someone doesn’t feel guilt when they fail to deliver, they might never realise there’s a problem, even if it’s pointed out to them.
That said, guilt can also go too far. If we are constantly berating ourselves for not meeting every single expectation, our own or others’, we risk getting caught in unproductive (self-)blame. Acknowledging guilt, rather than denying or suppressing it, allows us to move forward with more clarity and balance.
Some weeks, our so-called “bad weeks”, we may feel behind schedule, less impactful, or regretful that we haven’t spent enough time with our loved ones. Other weeks, our “good weeks”, everything seems within our grasp: we feel productive, we listen attentively to our best friends, and we spend time with our children. But those good weeks wouldn’t exist without the bad ones. We can’t sustain perfect performance all the time. Sometimes we’ll be late, sometimes we’ll need extra time to recharge, sometimes we won’t manage to spend every evening with our loved ones, and that’s okay.
Guilt can serve as a helpful nudge to reflect on our actions and make adjustments. We can embrace that message, learn from our mistakes, and find constructive ways to move forward. But we shouldn’t let guilt become the dominant emotion in our lives or work. After all, personal growth doesn’t thrive in a state of constant self-criticism, it flourishes when we recognise our flaws and course-correct with honesty and kindness.
So the next time we catch ourselves feeling guilty, whether for missing a deadline or postponing a task, let’s pause, acknowledge it, and ask: “What can we learn from this?” Let’s recognise our shared humanity, transforming guilt from a roadblock into a stepping stone toward growth.
Apr 2025
